I’m so sorry you are going through this, Admittedly Co-Dependent. It sucks. It sucks to be in love with someone who is active in their addiction, it sucks when the person you love is endangering his health—physical, emotional, financial and otherwise. Of course, the most painful part is that he won’t communicate with you at all (and let’s not count drunken, angry tweets. They are not an acceptable form of grown-up, productive conversation).

Your ex-boyfriend is sick. He is battling something that is turning him into a vestige of his former self—the person you love—and it’s incredibly painful to watch. Of course you want to help him. Of course you’re worrying on his behalf because he’s not together enough to worry about himself—much less take action to change his situation. These aren’t bad instincts, ACD. You’re an empathic, loving person and someone you care deeply about is in need. But all of our best, natural instincts can be taken to negative extremes—extremes that start to chip away at our own health and well-being, and I think that’s happening here (continued)

*I am not an expert or a mental health or medical professional; I’m a sober person offering my experiences and advice about sobriety. Every other Tuesday I will one recovery-related question posed by Fix readers, based on my experience. Send your general advice questions to me at editor@thefix.com with the subject “Ask Katie.” 

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